do you feel more and more drawn towards writing?
yes. it's basically the only thing that keeps me from feeling like i wasted a day. also, most highest lord satan asks that i increase the likelihood of a revolt by writing obscene and degenerate ideas on paper and the internet for hateful people to read.
you never considered moving to norway?
it sounds like norway is fucking cool. i would move there. is 'snowman builder' a profession out there? and when can i move? is there a large body of water there that i can eventually drown myself in?
what instruments do you play?
i can play the drums, the bass, the guitar, and i know a lot about musical recording. i can also shred on the recorder and my kazoo skills will bald you of your eyebrows.
have you spent a good part of your writing life 'getting even'?
i don't know what getting even means but maybe i understand. getting even to me is writing something that i support while i am writing it but will eventually have to disown to do better. doing better is getting even.
where do you live and why?
right now i live in chicago. i don't necessarily know why i live here. it's the best place to buy crack and guns.
when do you type/think/visualize 'absurd'?
i think that just about everything is absurd. i experience what may be a bad amount of silliness because it is hard for me to take anything seriously. i'm not joking, but it seems like there are a lot of times where i don't have any feelings.
what is a good metaphor for 'fiction'?
i don't know. when i sit down to write something i really have no clue what i am doing. i am honestly useless. like i'd probably just shrug a lot if i had to explain what i was doing.
when do you type/think/visualize 'hehe'?
probably when i think something is funny while simultaneously thinking 'i could never explain this to someone else.' like the best feeling is when you know you are not supposed to laugh but you have to. it feels evil. the other day i was cooking something on top of the stove and my roommate's cat walked up to me and i love the cat but i thought 'hehe' when i imagined pushing it down by the face, into the burner.
can you name some important books, films, records?
records: 'junkyard' by THE BIRTHDAY PARTY 'drum is dead' by LIARS 'creature comforts' by BLACK DICE 'dead hills' by WOLF EYES 'filth pig' by MINISTRY and probably a bunch of others. books: BEING AND TIME, THE SICKNESS UNTO DEATH, BEYOND GOOD AND EVIL, THE TICKET THAT EXPLODED, CHROMA, RICKY'S BLOOD, THE HUMAN WAR films: i don't watch a lot of movies. i like KIDS.
what is your website like and what is the best/worst thing about it?
my website, to me, is like a severe handjob and a punch in the throat while orgasming into a brown paperbag that will later be used to cover my head while a million bald women with black horns bite my entire body.
what will happen with the music industry?
it will feel really tired and take a nap on the couch and think 'i will just take a short nap' but then it will sleep for like four hours and get up still relatively early in the night but not willing to do anything but walk to bed.
what do most people type/think/visualize when they read your prose?
ideally a seven foot man covered in blue ink vomiting on a dead cat smashed into the street with a mouthful of flies.
when is the right time to read your stuff?
when you feel like you are not full of shit at all.
what kind of education do you recommend?
a lot of time spent staring at the wall, picking at your toes wondering who will find your gunshot-splintered head.
what is a good metaphor for 'hysterical realism'?
i don't know. i want to hammer out my teeth and put my roommate's cat's head in my mouth.
when is the right time to say 'just kidding'?
i would say whenever you want. but usually after you say 'i hate you.'
when is the right time to write a novel?
when you need to find a way to spend time.
when will we meet in concrete reality?
when i move to norway and become a snowman builder and wealthy man with a beautiful norwegian wife.
when do you feel 'lucky'/'creepy'/'infamous'?
i feel lucky when a girl i fucked without a condom gets her period. i feel creepy when i do a cartwheel to celebrate a girl i fucked without a condom getting her period. i feel infamous when i stare someone into not talking to me or liking me.
how many times do you check your email inbox during a day?
i don't have internet at my apartment so whenever i don't feel stupid looking enough to walk to the library.
what is you facial expression like when you find out that you have
no unread items in your inbox?
people always tell me i look mean and that i am hard to read. i hear those two things all the time.
what do you usually type in the subject line?
stupid shit like 'bird shit' 'i hope you die of an aneurysm' or 'wuddup mang' and my favorite 'i am alone in my apartment tired and i don't care about anything'
how old do you want to be?
i am pretty sure i will die young. but otherwise, maybe 85.
what is the best 'mood' to be in?
'just lost hope in something that seemed promising'
sam pink wrote for issue one of GUSTAF,
he is the author of i am going to clone myself then kill the clone and eat it (2009), and has a blog
